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16 March 2016 @ 07:16 pm
I don't know if anybody is still on here and/or if they are still reading this but I think that I should post this at least for myself.

So, in case you were wondering, I am in fact not dead. YAY.
The last 2, 3 years were very bad for me: I had some serious health problem which land me in the hospital a dozen or so times and required 3 major surgery, all the way fighting with doctors because their diagnosis amount to 'we have no idea what all your symptoms together means, are you sure you are not making things up'. My own diagnosis makes sense but because I am not a Doctor TM I was ignored until the last surgery and a new (younger) doctor confirm what I was saying all along.

With the in and out of hospitals came the slipping of my university's schedule and a ton of anxiety. Now I am seeing a therapist and doing a little better but it's an ongoing struggle.

I want to make this post especially for saying hi to the friends that I make here, I have no idea if they still follow this blog or this site and I probably end up writing private mail to them anyway but at least this is fair warning and all that.

The trigger for this post of 'woe is me / I am actually still breathing' is just as sad as the whole post: a person very dear to me passed away yesterday and I didn't get to say goodbye to her, because I keep postponing our monthly phone call until I have some good new for her, I lost the possibility to talk to her forever.
Her name was Lidia and she was the most caring, understanding human being I have met in quite a while. She rent me one of the rooms in her house while I was studying (when things were still good) and she became the grandmother I always wanted. And now she is gone.

Now I am sad, angry at myself for been a stupid slacker and generally feeling like shit. Nevertheless, I also want to write this to remember her and to remember myself that I should be more proactive and reach out more, especially to people I care about, even if they are distant.

So, to anyone that still look this stupid idiot's blog (an the friends that don't because all the cool kids are on tumblr this days): I love you and I hope to hear from you soon, because I will try to write to you soon enough and maybe you could forgive my disappearance. *Kisses & Huggles*
Shelter: my pc
I feel: exhaustedexhausted
13 March 2013 @ 02:06 pm
Hello everyone, sorry for my prolonged absence.
University didn't go so well and I am kinda stuck after various issues that make me lose the opportunity to spend a semester in Japan. -_______-

After spending most of the time from November until January depressed as hell, I have a medical emergency in my family and pretty much everyone here got a nasty flu that go on for the whole of February. And then I got it, too. Because I am lucky like that.

SO, to sum it up....

I feel: depresseddepressed
31 August 2012 @ 08:10 pm
Between Monday and tuesday I have 4 exams. I am ready for 0.5 of them.

I feel: depresseddepressed
15 May 2012 @ 12:23 am
So, tomorrow is the big day: 2 finals in one day!

...I will pass the first but not the second, unless some miracle happen....

If you don't hear from me again, it' s because I have committed seppuku for the dishonour.
I feel: desperate
03 May 2012 @ 07:59 pm
I have not posted much recently because I am finally approaching my last round of exam in College.
I taken languages (Japanese and Chinese because I hate myself) as major with minor in economy and law. (Yeah, I know: Craaaazy. :/) So I really need to study something like 12 hours a day.
SO, busy, busy, busy.

But recently some people I know from various fandom have posted about leaving and I think that is really sad and kinda strange: it's like growing up equal problem equal worry equal no time to dream. :/
I shouldn't really talk because my 5 (?) half finished fics sit in my desktop and I am too embarrassed to let anyone read those before I can finish and read through at least ten time, but we are talking about talented people. Someone that can actually make a story live.
I think they should like, getting paid for that or something.
And I am going to miss them. A lot.

To jjblue1 : I always read every single one of your update and thoughtfully enjoyed them. I also personally miss you and moko79 terribly! Maybe we can meet sometime soon? Hopefully when I don't have finals? ;____;

I feel: melancholymelancholy
Muse's Art: sensei's lesson mp3
31 December 2011 @ 10:06 pm
So, since I took a small pause in cooking the "cenone" as we say here, I am going to rain kiss and hugs all over you all, even if it's a bit early! :D


I feel: busybusy
04 November 2011 @ 06:30 pm

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡 ┻━┻
I feel: angryangry
15 October 2011 @ 03:20 pm
Unless the chaos of the last couple of months has totally screw up my perception of time and space (VERY likely, indeed)...

It is time for jjblue1 to get older wiser!!





Yeah, we should seriously live less then half a day worth of public transportation from each other.

Shelter: under the sky
I feel: artisticartistic
Muse's Art: Happy Birthday song
18 September 2011 @ 02:30 pm
The last couple of months have been a disaster for me, hence my disappearance act.

In not particular order:
my PC broke due to a fluctuation of electricity; my University's dorm management (which is NOT the university itself -__-;) refuse to let me in as a normal student due to stupid bureaucratic matters and now I have to wait until 2 weeks into the course for knowing if I will have a room for my last year; my PC broke AGAIN for maybe a lighting; I have to prepare for 2 exams that take normally a semester EACH aside for another one.

Now about the exams that I had at the beginning of September (the 2 extra difficult): let me tell you my experience with my Country fabulous, efficient public transportation system and understanding bureaucratic administration.
I live in a part of the Country 4 hour of driving time away for the city in which my university is located, since I don't have a car I need to go there via train (the ticket cost 40 euro for one-way!) and I have to sleep somewhere in Venice because the exams are on different date. I made reservation well in advance to be sure that I have a bed and a seat in the first available train on the day of my first exam.

My fist exam begin at 12 and my train, the very first in the morning, should have arrived at 10:40. Plenty of time, right? WRONG.
2 day before the date every public transportation ever declare a strike. No time for buck for one more night, so I phone the train company that tell me the train is a long distant so it should be safe.
At the penultimate stop (a station 5 minute of train travel time for my stop) the train stop and everyone is told to get out because, for the strike, they are not gonna take us to the final stop.
NO information on alternative, NO one to ask for help, NO bus, taxi or other mean to get to Venice.
The point is that they left us in Mestre which is at 1 hour walk from Venice and almost a 2 hours walk from the place where the exam is held.
So I take my luggage (enough stuff for a 4 days stay) and run. NOTE: I am not exactly athletic and I suffer from a serious case of asthma trigger by intensive exercise.
3 guess as to what had happen. I help: the result was me giving the 2 exams WHILE HYPERVENTILATING AND FAINTING ON THE PAPER HALFWAY THROUGH THE SECOND.

Also, no I cannot retook it now I have to wait on the next session available: January. In which I will have to also take another big and difficult exams.
Can some one stop the world? I want out. -____-;;

Shelter: bedroom
I feel: frustratedfrustrated
Muse's Art: airconditioner's vent